I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
