i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
