if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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