As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
