Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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