she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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