I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
