i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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