I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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