hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
