just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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