she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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