Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
