Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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