Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
