do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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