:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
