wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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