i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
