in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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