Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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