oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
