..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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