ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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