We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
