I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize