Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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