I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you had me at cake vodka
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
