I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
They have beer where we have blood.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
