Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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