its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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