just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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