just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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