So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
