She is in my trunk
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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