no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
