just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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