Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
