If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
