I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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