Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
