do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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