I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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