I just cut my nipple shaving
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
