you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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