the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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