um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am midnight drunk by noon
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
