just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
