We're facebook friends in real life
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
