I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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