dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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