The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
