I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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