is your mom at the bar?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
