DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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