Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
