Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
