and you said cock pushups were impossible
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
