I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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